Click through if you feel like reading a lengthy rant about how people are jerks.  I need to let it all out.  But please read it and validate my feelings kthnx.

Upon coming to a new church, which I really loved and thought was fantastic, I started jamming with a couple guys.  I love just jamming.  They expressed a desire to play shows with me, as my backing band.  I thought that was awesome and was all for it.  Unfortunately, they didn’t get along very well, and as tensions mounted I had to play mediator - something I hate to do at the best of times, but especially between two people I like and want to have around.  And people I barely know.

It got to the point where they were just bitching at me about each other, and they started to make me hate both of them.  I tried to remain impartial, and talk to each about their problems and help nut everything out.  I talked to one of them for 4 hours in a coffee shop just to try and clear up any misunderstandings and get to a place where we saw eye to eye.  I felt like he was too idealistic about his views of how a band should go, and that this would just lead to him feeling disappointed and wanting to drop out.  He seemed really receptive.  Then one day he just decided to drop out and leave me hanging.  Worse still, he used God as a cover, saying that he prayed about it and felt at peace with his decision.  Obviously he felt at peace - he didn’t want to play anymore, so deciding not to would make him feel peace.  I tried to extend the conversation with him about it, he simply stopped responding.

I got a replacement, and attempted to move forward.  Then I had problems with the other boy.

Because I enjoyed his company and spoke to him often, I made the mistake of inviting him to a LAN party we were organising with some other mutual friends.  I say mistake because it wasn’t at my house, and I wasn’t really the primary organiser, thus shouldn’t have invited him to another person’s house.  I realised this shortly after asking, and figured that as it was a conditionally invitation to begin with (If you game, you should come) it might be okay.  He said he was coming, despite the fact that he did not have a computer and did not game.  I told him to forget about it, we’d hang out another time.  He never responded.

Come gaming day, he turns up unannounced.  No one knew he was coming.  He didn’t game with us, he sat on the couch playing guitar and watching TV.  I found it incredibly awkward.  My friend whose house it was was cool about it, but I heard later that his mum was uncomfortable.  She thought it was weird, his being there.  Which it was.

That night the boys turned on my sister’s laptop, guessed her password and installed a game whilst we weren’t there (we had to leave for a short while, and left our laptops there turned off in the meantime).  When we came back, the uninvited boy was playing on her laptop.  We were both shocked and angry, especially when he said, “Friends much?” when she asked why his was on her laptop.

In light of this, I sent a perhaps overly scathing Facebook message to him.  He had asked me previously what character flaws I saw in him, and at that time I had no answer.  But given the things he had recently done and his seeming openness to hear about it, I sent the message.  He seemed really receptive, and a few more messages were sent back and forth.  Then he asked why I was uncomfortable that he’d turned up at the LAN party.

Firstly, I don’t think that really needs explaining to a normal person.  He forced his presence on us.  There’s a time and a place to hang out with people - I wouldn’t just turn up at someone’s boy’s night out.  Even if I was invited, I know it’s not an appropriate place for me to be, so I would not go.  Especially if I was then gently univinted.  Furthermore, I shouldn’t’ve invited him in the first place, and I felt bad for doing so.  His coming, when I told the host he would no longer be there, makes me look bad.  And there’s a complete disregard for everyone else and their relationships with others.

He then suggested that I am selfish and merely trying to control him and his behaviour to “get what I want”.  And when I don’t get what I want, I get angry and make up lies.  I’m sorry, what exactly is it that I want?  I hardly see the point in trying to control someone, especially him.  That is a whole lot of wasted time and energy.  I have too much shit going on in my life to try that.

I tried to reply very neutrally to his highly insulting response.  It was a very lengthy response (about 1,800 words… I know.)  I worded it carefully and was sure to respond to everything he brought up in full, so there was no confusion and he would be fully satisfied.  I ignored his extremely condescending words and just tried to address the issue so it may be resolved - as he said he wished it to be.

He replied with the following:

I’m not going to read any of what you have written, I don’t have the time or the energy. I don’t see how it’s necessary for you to write such long msgs and it is unrealistic for you to expect me to spend the energy on them when. I do not wish to continue to take part in any further dialogue with you unless there is a leader from church involved and after you have consulted them about this this matter. I will drop off your bass at church so you can pick it up. This will not be resolved anytime soon. I can not garuantee that I will play for you for the gig. Yes I am going back on my word and I apologise for that. I comitted to the gig not realising how problematic our relationship would become. If we manage to resolve this situation in due time then I may be able to perform you. Since I do not know when it will be resolved I can not gaurantee anything.

God bless you.

I cannot even express how much that upset me.

He kept saying he wished to resolve the issue, and quickly, but has refused to listen to me any further and is attempting to force me to talk me without a leader of the church present.  We are not in school.  We are not going to couples therapy.  This is a matter between he and I.  If he wishes to talk to others about it, that’s his prerogative.  But trying to force me to do the same is disgusting.

Furthermore, he thinks he’s so Christlike.  He totes around God’s name like it forgives him for the shit he lays on other people.  It’s a shield so he’s not responsible for anything.  And I’m utterly disgusted by it.  How dare he misrepresent my God like that.  How dare he treat me like that.  And how dare he walk around as though he is so fucking righteous.

So furious.